Reflections when I look at life in rear mirror(1)

Courage's not d absence of fear but the acknowledgemnt dat smthg els's more important.

Courage, as I think it to be, is not only overcoming doubts n fears, or how strong I stand by my principles but also to be able to comfort sm1 in turmoil n let them know that I'll be thr, come wt may.

Courage's not about me...its about my convictions. I know wt it feels like to be thwarted in your face and shown the way out. I know of the times when u'd stand 2 your conscience of not giving bk 2 the hurt u've got nd be called crazy.Bt do not let that take away frm u wt it takes 2 be you!

In these times of tribulation, when the valor of the Heroes in us will be put 2 test, I pray to God that May He gv us all the Courage to be truly us, human us nd to stick n stand by each othr!! Amen....

~~Update~~
Today's fortune: Today is a good day to spread joyyeahh...sure...I'd luv to..givn I had sm time to spare!!...infct I realy realy wish that this fortune reaches to more n more ppl...wt we need most in today's tragic times is a li'l more joy..a li'l more hope n lotsaa luv n peace!!!

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Wait till this dream I'm seeng, puts me on d brim and then quivers me up,Well I feel the rush in my veins, its not the blood this tym, its sm glassy salt with squints of friction.
Signed Off,
Teejay.

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Its got too late and I'm still awake...m movin' 2mrw, seeking out 4 sm brighter future...It had been truly testing time, d last mnth...I had been constantly gropin' arnd in brambles...lost my way nth time...my soul shrieked out in pain...my mind gave away to distress and the voice of my faith shattering down was deafening as if I'd nvr be able to hear anythg agn!....If there's a silver lining behind evry cloud, it better shws up nw or ths winter when it rains, may it inundate my existing remains!

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"I won't be just remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own. I'll stare straight into the Shining Sun and the belligerence will show up."

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I have understood feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or parties you go, or how many glasses of vodka you drink with your friends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that you'll see the light and someone'd show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

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When your education X-Ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
Or maybe I'm just blind...

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Lets for once confront ourselves...
Lets luk thru a mirror n nt sm lens...
Lets bring out the person whoz living in us...
and waiting to know wts breathing lyk...
Lets laugh out so loud that my heart feels light...
Lets get those tears rolling from the corners of eyes fr all the tuf tyms we stood firm thru...
Let me see you admire yourself fr all that you survived, for me and you...
For Once..

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All I can say, KanNOTchan!GULP! dahlin, apni date to ekdum fix h....bt vch lucky "Saturday"...hmmm.....!!! :P ;)

i rely wish i cud hv thm in sm book form..
thn i cud jzz sit n go thu thm all..
indexing thm...chapter wise....wud b such a feel.. :)
nd u knw hw book hv word wise indexing at d end...
i ll sure seach fr d wrd blue..i gss pgs f d book wud hv to b blue as well... :)

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Chris telling his son :“Don’t let somebody tell you, you can’t do something.
Not even me (as your father). Alright ?”
“You’ve got a dream, you gotta protect it”
“People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you… you can’t do it”
“You want something, go get it… PERIOD.”

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Blue moon

Before I kiss my land goodbye,

And i think of you once more,

Same thing dawns as always I thought:

A dream of nothing else but you.

By a footstep of right followed by left,

And in your lock door I start knocking.

Some little talk of you and me,

Next thing I know it starts raining.

But when it must be,

it has to be.

And so I left a silent goodbye on your doorstep,

Where once U kept standing

till all my dreams had died.

Journey Unfinished...

Once I knew the way to go,
Knew the path I had to tread,
Now I feel I've lost my soul,
Somewhere on the dusty way.

Though the path is long and cold,
And I may never see the end,
Still I travel, young and old,
On this path without a bend.

The hill is steep, but still I climb,
A dusty staircase to the sky,
The earth is open on each side,
A rift that leads to nowhere I can hide.

I know that I can never stop,
Never fail and never falter,
I am the last to walk this path,
The others fallen in the past.

Jzz Sm Lyf!!!

A sad shady face
Or a sight of silent walk;
Name it the way you feel..
..It was a life.

Answers to those questions
Which were buried in my silence..
..in those days

Today, Your heart is back
from exile.
Now..please
Don’t spare tears..
It was a life..

So many times,
I gather courage,
Lips move in apprehension
Engulfing the hung expressions
Nameless feelings run in
Circles of love and pain,
Embraced by you,i go silent again.

Honestly!!!

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again

Would You please Erase Me?

A string of violins cut through the dawn’s silence and settles into a rhythm with drums and congo . And even before the guitars join in on the fun, I instinctively knew what song is to play. This was the music which had accompanied me in so mny journeys home for a few four years of my life. This was the song which I played on my Walkman as the bus paced off the roads in early winter mornings and tore through the mist as I headed home for breaks.

It was “Raah Pe Rahte Hain’ from Namkeen!!

And as I stood today listening it and watch a plane flying past me, I wondered how much have I changed in the past couple of years and how the song has changed for me.

Depicted by the movie, ‘Raah Pe Rehte Hain’ is a quintessential truck driver’s song. And that in itself would have sufficed – magically woven lines relevant to the truck driver Geru Lal, RD’s music which betrayed a hint of easy movement, nothing kinetic but a languorous approach to a rolling hill and Sanjeev swaying gently as he sat on the driver’s seat with an expression that suggested the triumph of realism over romanticism with merest whiff of remorse as he occasionally peered out.

But just the so beautiful lyrics turn the truck driver’s ditty into a song of life; into the seeming conflict between the reality of the past and hopefulness of future. This song in a way plays with this paradox to let you find your own balance. And somewhere at the end of the song you realize why this film would have been named Namkeen.

“Raah pe rehte hain..yaadon pe basar karate hain,
khush raho ahal-e-vatan, ho, ham to safar karate hain.”

I'm a rolling stone. Forever in motion. Just gotta remember what Dylan wrote,
“How does it feel
How does it feel
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?”

Life’s a long road and while we may plan for future and look ahead in hope, all that’s tangible, all that has shaped us and all that gives meaning to our life is our past. That’s what’s real, that’s what you feed of. A casual look at that first line might give you an impression of another nostalgia drenched, sepia tinted view of life but, in reality, that first line is imbued with a sense of practicality. There’s no romanticism in past, it’s harsh and brutal. However, this past is what you live on, the future is what you live for. So, the journey continues.

“Jal gaye jo dhoop mein to saaya ho gaye,
Aasaman ka koi kona odhaa so gaye,
Jo guzar jaati hai bas usape guzar karate hain”

Life’s just some marathon, is it not?!.. When sun scorched you, you found a sliver of shade to rest in. In your deepest moments of low, you found hope springing eternal. Don’t seek out help from others, your own journey is your lesson. That which will sustain you lies within you.

“Udte pairon ke tale jab bahati hai zameen,
Mud ke hamane koi manzil dekhi hi nahin,
Raat din raahon pe ham shaam-o-sehar karate hain.”

In full flight, when the earth below you flows away as you speed ahead, who has the time to pause and look back? And why should you? That’s the time for the relentless march ahead. Of spending every waking moment on forging forward.

It isn’t a paradox really. You don’t drive using the rear view mirror but you can’t drive ahead with speed without it as well.

“Aise ujade aashiyane tinkey ud gaye,
Bastiyon tak aate aate raaste mud gaye,
Hum thehar jaayen jahaan usko shehar karte hain.”

Heyy and now I can almost recall a poem from my course by Robert Burns. In his most popular poem “To A Mouse” he says,

“The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often askew,
And leaves us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy.

Still you are blest, compared with me!
present only touches you..
But oh! I backward cast my eye,
On prospects dreary!
And forward, though I cannot see,
I guess and fear!”

It doesn’t matter if I reached the destination I set out for. I have traveled far enough and where I stop dog-tired is the destination worthy of my efforts.

And so ends the song that never fails to evoke memories of holiday trips home and so mny other memorable journeys in last two years. Seems like I've traveled great distances in two years and reached nowhere...but that is may be I was worthy of this alone. But more importantly, it means a lot more a dozen years later in life.

So, Keep traveling; keep eking out a ‘guzar’; and when you tire and stop, look around – it’s your destination which was just within your grasp.

Following My own footprints on Time...

Bangalore was not meant to be a new place,..I have been there a couple of times before..but this tour of three days captured the spirit of the city...the vivid way...through a convexo-concave lens.....the things so many when converge in this city diverge off on to take numerous forms, so many of'em 'Larger than Life', while few others, jz sm microcosm of all that's associated with any Global city.

Some new discoveries last week(when I was supposed to be hurling with Delhi Temp moods, but did everything else (: )

Cosmo Village - Located off Brigade Road, a lounge bar, one of its kind. Hv heard quite a bit about the place. A decent joint. Liked the comfortable seating. Nice music. (However, I had got quite a few conflicting thgs about it). Crowded like all other happening places. I have a feeling that no one stays home anymore (I can hear you say: look who’s talking!). Wherever you go (any day of the week) you have to battle not only traffic jams but also crowds.
Out of the window, there’s a pretty pool. It had just rained, and the skies were turning dark. The weather was beautiful. Watched the F1 on the big screen. Kimi Raikonnen won. Felt a little sorry for Schumi though (where was he?!). It was the seventh consecutive race without a Ferrari victory and Schumi must be now wondering how he allowed his greatest fears in the form of Räikkönen and Alonso, to get ahead. Ah, a friends says he’d become arrogant. But I think he’s a Champ, anywyz. Regardless of all the talk of his going old, He went out in style after all his exploits on the track.
Unfortunately, all these cool joints close early. So at about midnight, we had to beat a hasty retreat.

Opus – A neat place somewhere near the Palace Grounds area, can’t remember the name of the road. They had karaoke night on Wednesday. It was a cool evening and thankfully, it didn’t pour since we had seats outside. Nice music. Some great singers emerged from the woodwork (or wherever they were hiding). They came up with Ironic, my own personal huge hit . I am quite sure some of them were professionals, the way they were singing! A nice place to hang out, if you’re looking for good music and a chilled out environment. Anyway Beware OPUS makes up bills. we landed to a 8K thing for 4 of us, which went back once to get reduced by 700. Prices lil steep.

Taika- I know, the name's baffling but needs to be checked out for its awesome ambience!( scented candles, indian chants etc.,) Kushagra and Abs swear by it (:
We had plans for sm place called Tavern too but it was so lots filled that we left almost as soon as we entered!

Spin- Almost instantly fell for this place..found it a great place to hangout with friends. Off Residency Road where I put up at for all three days, I wondered why we dint venture in here right on first day. It’s not like just another Disc. Anyone can get lots to do out here,...the dance floor, the terrace, the portico area. In all it’s a no nonsense hangout.

Hard Rock Cafe- This one, on Lavelle road is the best bet to sip a coffee. Finest blends and awesome music, the likes of Travis and A. Morisette gives it such a feel. It’s inside an interiors store called Cinnamon and easily qualifies to be a nice place to hangout, which shows with the budding crowd that you get to see in there.

Ebony- The roof top restaurant at Barton centre, M.G. road next to 'the 13th Floor' vows for the Spectacular view and food that's Gourmet's Delight. So if you are in Bangalore, gotta check out this place.

Corner house in Carlton towers- The place has a nice mix of people and the ice cream in Corner house is simply marvelous. Besides they dont tell you to hurry so one can just sit there and nurse one ice cream for hours together!!!

Yeahh...for once I saw the suave cosmopolitan face of a city that breathes software and thrives on globalisation happening like never before...
The Corporate thing here tastes of Champagne...the taste not meant for everyone and the tinge just too pungent for anyone who goes on to be careful with his steps....


PS.: I dedicate ths post to my frnds Akki, Abs, Ankit, Amit and Kushagra coz only its for them that this Bnglr tour went on to become this gr8 a deal that I wrote a post for it. I've visited some of the best plcs in the country, I believe but u guys truly rocked ths plc 4 me in a vry special way. And of course, not to forget GE, for all the opportunity to get me see this exuberent city in a nvr b4 experience.

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same


But when we leave it won't be coming back
No more freaking over 'coz we'll be on a different track
And if you'v got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause we don't have another day
Coz we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound


And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so fancied.

Now that gets me
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
As we go on we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever.

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we talked?
Still be trying to break every single rule
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking and this is how it feels.
We will still be friends forever.

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?


I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this bound?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's time to fly.

But We'll still Be friends Forever...

No Strings Attached.....

I'll give you countless amounts of outright
acceptance if you want it.
I will give you Encouragment
to choose the path that you want if you need it.

You can speak of anger and doubts,
Your fears and freak-outs and I'll hold it.
You can share your so-called
Shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it.

And there are no strings attached to it
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.

You can ask for space for yourself
And only yourself and I'll grant it.
You can ask for freedom as well
Or time to travel and you'll have it.
You can ask to live by yourself
Or love someone else and I'll support it.
You can ask for anything
you want Anything at all and I'll understand it.

And there are no strings attached to it
You owe me nothing in return.

This is the only kind of love
As I understand it
That there really is.
You can express your deepest of truths
Even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it.

You can fall into the abyss
On the way to your bliss
I'll empathize with.

You can say that
you'll have to skip town
To chase your passion and I'll hear it.
You can even hit rock bottom
have a mid-life chrisis and I'll hold it.

And there are no strings attached to it...............

Survival or Bliss!

I've spent so long firmly looking outside me
I've spent so much time living in survival mode

This won't work now the way it once did
Cuz I want to decide between survival and bliss
Now I know who I'm not
I don't I still don't know who I am
But I know I won't keep on playing the victim

These precious illusions in my head did not let me down
When I was defenseless
And parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends

Two Different worlds I live in...

I was sitting in the lobby of my office sipping my hot chocolate, munching on a donut and watching people come and go. A voice on the lobby television caught my attention, it was a reporter from the sm news channel. She was reporting on war, killings and poverty in a far Middle eastern country. It was such a sad and devastating report from these unfortunate people's lives that it almost moisted my eyes. At the same time a group of loud women walked into the lobby greeting one another with ear scratching screeches. Naturally their high screams, loud conversations and utterly excited hugs took over the lobby area and diminished any sound from the news on the television. Even though I was extremely annoyed by the women, yet I had nothing els to do, it was still early in the morning by all offc standards and I was so half asleep, so I remained in my seat. Two of the women were animatedly talking about how devastated they were due to the humid and hot weather. One of them was so upset because she loves her hair straight, but because of the dampened weather she is forced to wear it curly. She had even brought all of the necessary products that was needed in order to keep her hair straight, however they do not work properly with this much humidity. The weather had just ruined her time here because she really hates curly hair. The other woman truly sympathized with her friend, her face showing genuine concern, being utterly distraught. That is when both of them uttered the words "this is just so unfair"! Yes, life for them is just so unfair. I looked back at the television, still showing innocent people being shot in the streets and tanks roaming around in their city. This inhumanity is happening now. I looked back at the women again and their big smiles, I was awake now and thinking. Yes, life is just so unfair for these women.

I'm A Traveler To Unknown Places!

Perhaps love is like a resting place
A shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort
It is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble
When you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window
Perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer
It wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself
And don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you thru
O love to some is like a cloud
To some as strong as steel
For some a way of living
For some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on
And some say letting go
And some say love is everything
Some say they don't know
Perhaps love is like the ocean
Full of conflict full of change
Like a fire when it's cold outside
A thunder when it rains
If I should live forever
And all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

Lyf's an Open road..best story nvr told!

There r vry few times in life wen u jz listn sm1 tokin' on the othr syd of phn nd d voice springs u bk to breathing elation...jz heard one off late..waiting to hear anthr! :)

I dn undrstd y smtyms we let few creaks widen up 2 b grwn as gaps and thn aftrwrds dn fill them to stop frm becmng voids...y its so hard to embrace the feeling of togethrness nd forgo the distance....y it tks us a hard, long thought b4 extending a hand bk to sm1 who once we'v held in our hearts...y aftr all??!!!

Missed over Something!! :)

Today I saw many beautiful things crossing in front of my eyes....

I saw two little pretty girls in a pic, probably couple of months apart. They both smiled delightfully, caressed each other, leaned on each other. It was beautiful. It was sweet. It was Innocent. It was true. I immediately thought of my sister and wanted to hug her and tell her how much I love her.

Then I went to a bday party. At the party venue there were many people. lots of couples. In each couple, i saw a silent union. It was invisible but very strong. I saw how much one cared for the other. I saw connection. I saw love and affection. It was the right hand talking to the left. Silly conversations, silly touches, silly comments, silly "oh do you know what happened today on my way to work?", silly "touch my hand is soft, why is your hand so rough? it must be the sweat", silly laughs, silly "do you remember what happened on our trip?", silly "I'm so full, should I really eat one more piece?", silly "sure go ahead", silly "I can't smoke, she doesn't like it", silly "We are going on vacation next week, i'm so excited", silly "its late, we have to go. We have to do things tomorrow", silly "Do you want to go to your frnd's place after this?", silly people walking down holding hands. It was beautiful.

I miss feeling silly. :)

I'm looking through a Drop..

Beyond the blue horizon
Waits a beautiful day
Goodbye to things that bore me
Joy is waiting for me

I see a new horizon
My life has only begun
Beyond the blue horizon
Lies a rising sun......

-Lou Christie(Rain Man)

Untouched by Their own Hues...

Life's not mch about the breakthroughs we make or the ends that we seek..I feel its more so, the journey itself, a newer one every new day, that keeps us alive and kicking.
And suddenly it felt as if Life's looking for some other side in me..it just is not drawing interest in the conventional 'Me' anymore. It tries to arouse in me a strong urge to take a social turnaround!

I dont know how much it makes sense for me to explore the possibility but it amuses me,yes and a lot. A plethora of speculations seems to have surfaced over me and it sure's keeping me in a diabolical state of mind...,with so mch anticipation hitting the shores of my mind lyk torrents frm every direction, I feel practically evrythg I do or say, puts up itself as a mindchurning exercise.
People I meet, the ones I talk to, the fewer ones I comprehend about things with...now I just seem to keenly observe them more than ever. My laid back avtar of sometime back has given way to a more conscientious, inquisitive me!

But I think one gud thing that's stood pervasive through all this wilderness of thoughts is that nthng has been able to thrust upon me, the otherwise natural consequence of getting judgemental. And that could be pretty well explnd by the reason that I dont mind things any more...not that I acted nerd for anythg earlier, for that matter, its just that now a part of me has got numb towards certain dynamics encompassing our lives...it just wont respond or even let me do so...infct this has brought me a kind of settling non-chalance, a poise. And I happen to like this shift towards stoicalness...this non-judgemental incline..but that or infact nothing's been able to restore my focal point and my channel of thoughts still remain fazed so far. May be this demarcates a good understanding and the clarity of thought...this is how the two would get toed across differently.

Whatever lyf's bringing on my platter stands for something I can clearly see..but everytym that I try savoring the servings, it feels as if its still ground zero...


(TBCtd....)

Today I saw many beautiful things crossing in front of my eyes...
I saw two little girls in a pic, probably couple of months apart.They both smiled delightfully, caressed each other, leaned on each other. It was beautiful. It was sweet. It was Innocent. It was true.
I immediately thought of my sister and wanted to hug her and tell her how much I love her.

Then I went to a bday party. At the party venue there were many people. lots of couples. In each couple, i saw a silent union. It was invisible but very strong. I saw how much one cared for the other. I saw connection. I saw love and affection. It was the right hand talking to the left. Silly conversations, silly touches, silly comments, silly "oh do you know what happened today on my way to work?", silly "touch my hand is soft, why is your hand so rough? it must be the sweat", silly laughs, silly "do you remember what happened on our trip?", silly "I'm so full, should I really eat one more piece?", silly "sure go ahead", silly "I can't smoke, she doesn't like it", silly "We are going on vacation next week, i'm so excited", silly "its late, we have to go. We have to do things tomorrow", silly "Do you want to go to your frnd's place after this?", silly people walking down holding hands.
It was beautiful.

I miss feeling silly. :)

Strokes so Vague!

Emerged from where life died
from isolation, from love, from sorrow....
All that was farther and out of reach
To where impossibilities grew fruit....

To Questions

Do we know love ?
Do we know friends ?
Do we know why and how things that circumscribe us, change?
Do we know why things that hold our lives, remain the same???

Together, apart
stirring memories and desire...veiled, where
Solititude asks nothing.

Bringing this place back to life again..

Well,its been truly long that i've myself visited my own blog page, let aside posting something over it. We've heard of folks writing letters (yes..M very much talking about Adam's times....letter writing..is it still in Third standard's course??!....My cousin frays me off...'Who writes letters in this age, di?!!!...and we both go Awol..for our different reasons,of course.) to their dear ones, the family, loved beings and to the God too..but I've always taken to this blog as scribling letters to myself ('what crappp!!' is the expression...urs,i knw..thanks a lot for dat..m obliged.). Though, can't still say what has brought me over here today...may be its just a callback to doing what I love the most...to write and get in touch with myself, perhaps a desire of letting a part of me breathe out..smthg lyk letting sm prisoner see a open window aftr being kept in dark Dungeons for way too long, my unadulterated being that wants to be divulged but to myslf...or may be its just the chance of getting sm idle time finding which's off late become some event dat occurs when luck winks..he he...

No..no..don't take me wrong anybody...dont tell me that u've heard d same monotonic statemnt frm evry othr software pro that you know...errr...i know all that stuff quite well...and have got used to all that prodding too..I've my own holidays..the weekends..some offs which if i'd strt describing..u'd be awrdy snoring..so no...2 keep it crisp and short..we (now i refer Software Profeesnls as my fraternity...Kudos..this was the last thing i should have done to prove to have become a part of ths moronic Job descrptn..but ironically i'v strtd out with it!!!) have days off when we get time to breathe air which is not ozonized or oxidated or chlorinated or whatever by Office AC..when we get to drink Mochas or Cappuchinos which are not indicated 'Pour when Hot' by Coffee Vending Machine and of course when we do sit over and have those indulging talks but the decor's no more a fading blue....aahhh i guess, growing grey or may be mauling muave... Heckkk..i dunno what exactly do the offc walls are colored lyk...d fluorescent silver tubelights do the tricks,i feel..aftr all its in their light that we see the things around all the time and are used to jz dat only...and the colors I mentioned are just sm indication..if u get to talk to more people around me...the number may increase or decrease 'coz everyone dznt wear specs and thus works the phenomenon of Refraction too. Anyways, I wasn't givng any insight of what a Software geekie hub (Reqst: Plz call mine..Consultancy Co.!) looks like..I was jz giving a Precis of the leisurely time that any persn in my shoes or evn his(if in my professn), would enjoy...nd was that a short thg..well ths's a S/W engineer's blog draft, so expect lengths and volumes. But al this is not exactly I was to talk abt here..and this is not the idle time I meant earlier. All this includes frenzy movement of people, their acts, their thoughts, their impact intertwined with my owns..no..no..no...ths just cant bring me enuf time to pen down what m going through..this frantic motion wont let me mince my own thoughts..though the idea is not to scrutinize myslf...but if u, like me wud give it a moment or two, even you'll find there's so much beneath that surface.

I hope you understand that none of this is meant to be talked of as Spiritual....I hardly understand the meaning of the word and so I dont prefer talking anything that I dont make out much of,..not more so, out of fear of sounding stupid than for the chance of getting out of the way from what I actually intend to expedite. So coming back to my intent, today somehow I realized that this was that idle time with myself which i could spend fondling the thoughts of what I've been doing with my life off late..this was the time when I see nobody around and have got stuff to write about, in plentitude..when I am not in conversation wid anyone..its al quiet (and shortlived too..coz jz thn, sm1 constantly swarming my tho8s, shows up..and I mention
this out of not sm reason but some inevitable urge.)

All this time that I've been so dearly talking of getting some solitude for myself could make up anybody's mind thinking that I may be a person who'd like it alone. I'm myslf wondering if I were to read between the lines, wont it all strongly smell of introspection?
But I actuly like it with people around..with activity around...'coz wid all the wrk, all the frenzy around I forget my being, my senses would only respond to the work or the people and remain cheerfully busy. Evrythg's navigated then..and I am completely indulged with the work or the person of the moment,...and this is perfect..you are doing good at your workplace..people around take u to be frndly and industrious..they beam at your wits and share smiles on ur jokes..frnds get you thru their daily stuff and luv it when you tell them that they've been extremely going well with it.. u have ppl to think fondly of and who mean so mch to you and you look forward to spend time with them, talk just abt evrythg..and then of course..there's so mch that u want to accomplish in life..call them ur ambitions...wat else would you call leading a life?!!..
All the time you'r just skippng over these ropes and have got so darn perfect with it that you may overlook the score of breaths you just forgot taking inand out....!!! Look at it, isn't dat consuming enuf?...but this is how I like it..

(TBCtd....)