Today I saw many beautiful things crossing in front of my eyes...
I saw two little girls in a pic, probably couple of months apart.They both smiled delightfully, caressed each other, leaned on each other. It was beautiful. It was sweet. It was Innocent. It was true.
I immediately thought of my sister and wanted to hug her and tell her how much I love her.
Then I went to a bday party. At the party venue there were many people. lots of couples. In each couple, i saw a silent union. It was invisible but very strong. I saw how much one cared for the other. I saw connection. I saw love and affection. It was the right hand talking to the left. Silly conversations, silly touches, silly comments, silly "oh do you know what happened today on my way to work?", silly "touch my hand is soft, why is your hand so rough? it must be the sweat", silly laughs, silly "do you remember what happened on our trip?", silly "I'm so full, should I really eat one more piece?", silly "sure go ahead", silly "I can't smoke, she doesn't like it", silly "We are going on vacation next week, i'm so excited", silly "its late, we have to go. We have to do things tomorrow", silly "Do you want to go to your frnd's place after this?", silly people walking down holding hands.
It was beautiful.
I miss feeling silly. :)
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Strokes so Vague!
Emerged from where life died
from isolation, from love, from sorrow....
All that was farther and out of reach
To where impossibilities grew fruit....
To Questions
Do we know love ?
Do we know friends ?
Do we know why and how things that circumscribe us, change?
Do we know why things that hold our lives, remain the same???
Together, apart
stirring memories and desire...veiled, where
Solititude asks nothing.
from isolation, from love, from sorrow....
All that was farther and out of reach
To where impossibilities grew fruit....
To Questions
Do we know love ?
Do we know friends ?
Do we know why and how things that circumscribe us, change?
Do we know why things that hold our lives, remain the same???
Together, apart
stirring memories and desire...veiled, where
Solititude asks nothing.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Bringing this place back to life again..
Well,its been truly long that i've myself visited my own blog page, let aside posting something over it. We've heard of folks writing letters (yes..M very much talking about Adam's times....letter writing..is it still in Third standard's course??!....My cousin frays me off...'Who writes letters in this age, di?!!!...and we both go Awol..for our different reasons,of course.) to their dear ones, the family, loved beings and to the God too..but I've always taken to this blog as scribling letters to myself ('what crappp!!' is the expression...urs,i knw..thanks a lot for dat..m obliged.). Though, can't still say what has brought me over here today...may be its just a callback to doing what I love the most...to write and get in touch with myself, perhaps a desire of letting a part of me breathe out..smthg lyk letting sm prisoner see a open window aftr being kept in dark Dungeons for way too long, my unadulterated being that wants to be divulged but to myslf...or may be its just the chance of getting sm idle time finding which's off late become some event dat occurs when luck winks..he he...
No..no..don't take me wrong anybody...dont tell me that u've heard d same monotonic statemnt frm evry othr software pro that you know...errr...i know all that stuff quite well...and have got used to all that prodding too..I've my own holidays..the weekends..some offs which if i'd strt describing..u'd be awrdy snoring..so no...2 keep it crisp and short..we (now i refer Software Profeesnls as my fraternity...Kudos..this was the last thing i should have done to prove to have become a part of ths moronic Job descrptn..but ironically i'v strtd out with it!!!) have days off when we get time to breathe air which is not ozonized or oxidated or chlorinated or whatever by Office AC..when we get to drink Mochas or Cappuchinos which are not indicated 'Pour when Hot' by Coffee Vending Machine and of course when we do sit over and have those indulging talks but the decor's no more a fading blue....aahhh i guess, growing grey or may be mauling muave... Heckkk..i dunno what exactly do the offc walls are colored lyk...d fluorescent silver tubelights do the tricks,i feel..aftr all its in their light that we see the things around all the time and are used to jz dat only...and the colors I mentioned are just sm indication..if u get to talk to more people around me...the number may increase or decrease 'coz everyone dznt wear specs and thus works the phenomenon of Refraction too. Anyways, I wasn't givng any insight of what a Software geekie hub (Reqst: Plz call mine..Consultancy Co.!) looks like..I was jz giving a Precis of the leisurely time that any persn in my shoes or evn his(if in my professn), would enjoy...nd was that a short thg..well ths's a S/W engineer's blog draft, so expect lengths and volumes. But al this is not exactly I was to talk abt here..and this is not the idle time I meant earlier. All this includes frenzy movement of people, their acts, their thoughts, their impact intertwined with my owns..no..no..no...ths just cant bring me enuf time to pen down what m going through..this frantic motion wont let me mince my own thoughts..though the idea is not to scrutinize myslf...but if u, like me wud give it a moment or two, even you'll find there's so much beneath that surface.
I hope you understand that none of this is meant to be talked of as Spiritual....I hardly understand the meaning of the word and so I dont prefer talking anything that I dont make out much of,..not more so, out of fear of sounding stupid than for the chance of getting out of the way from what I actually intend to expedite. So coming back to my intent, today somehow I realized that this was that idle time with myself which i could spend fondling the thoughts of what I've been doing with my life off late..this was the time when I see nobody around and have got stuff to write about, in plentitude..when I am not in conversation wid anyone..its al quiet (and shortlived too..coz jz thn, sm1 constantly swarming my tho8s, shows up..and I mention
this out of not sm reason but some inevitable urge.)
All this time that I've been so dearly talking of getting some solitude for myself could make up anybody's mind thinking that I may be a person who'd like it alone. I'm myslf wondering if I were to read between the lines, wont it all strongly smell of introspection?
But I actuly like it with people around..with activity around...'coz wid all the wrk, all the frenzy around I forget my being, my senses would only respond to the work or the people and remain cheerfully busy. Evrythg's navigated then..and I am completely indulged with the work or the person of the moment,...and this is perfect..you are doing good at your workplace..people around take u to be frndly and industrious..they beam at your wits and share smiles on ur jokes..frnds get you thru their daily stuff and luv it when you tell them that they've been extremely going well with it.. u have ppl to think fondly of and who mean so mch to you and you look forward to spend time with them, talk just abt evrythg..and then of course..there's so mch that u want to accomplish in life..call them ur ambitions...wat else would you call leading a life?!!..
All the time you'r just skippng over these ropes and have got so darn perfect with it that you may overlook the score of breaths you just forgot taking inand out....!!! Look at it, isn't dat consuming enuf?...but this is how I like it..
(TBCtd....)
No..no..don't take me wrong anybody...dont tell me that u've heard d same monotonic statemnt frm evry othr software pro that you know...errr...i know all that stuff quite well...and have got used to all that prodding too..I've my own holidays..the weekends..some offs which if i'd strt describing..u'd be awrdy snoring..so no...2 keep it crisp and short..we (now i refer Software Profeesnls as my fraternity...Kudos..this was the last thing i should have done to prove to have become a part of ths moronic Job descrptn..but ironically i'v strtd out with it!!!) have days off when we get time to breathe air which is not ozonized or oxidated or chlorinated or whatever by Office AC..when we get to drink Mochas or Cappuchinos which are not indicated 'Pour when Hot' by Coffee Vending Machine and of course when we do sit over and have those indulging talks but the decor's no more a fading blue....aahhh i guess, growing grey or may be mauling muave... Heckkk..i dunno what exactly do the offc walls are colored lyk...d fluorescent silver tubelights do the tricks,i feel..aftr all its in their light that we see the things around all the time and are used to jz dat only...and the colors I mentioned are just sm indication..if u get to talk to more people around me...the number may increase or decrease 'coz everyone dznt wear specs and thus works the phenomenon of Refraction too. Anyways, I wasn't givng any insight of what a Software geekie hub (Reqst: Plz call mine..Consultancy Co.!) looks like..I was jz giving a Precis of the leisurely time that any persn in my shoes or evn his(if in my professn), would enjoy...nd was that a short thg..well ths's a S/W engineer's blog draft, so expect lengths and volumes. But al this is not exactly I was to talk abt here..and this is not the idle time I meant earlier. All this includes frenzy movement of people, their acts, their thoughts, their impact intertwined with my owns..no..no..no...ths just cant bring me enuf time to pen down what m going through..this frantic motion wont let me mince my own thoughts..though the idea is not to scrutinize myslf...but if u, like me wud give it a moment or two, even you'll find there's so much beneath that surface.
I hope you understand that none of this is meant to be talked of as Spiritual....I hardly understand the meaning of the word and so I dont prefer talking anything that I dont make out much of,..not more so, out of fear of sounding stupid than for the chance of getting out of the way from what I actually intend to expedite. So coming back to my intent, today somehow I realized that this was that idle time with myself which i could spend fondling the thoughts of what I've been doing with my life off late..this was the time when I see nobody around and have got stuff to write about, in plentitude..when I am not in conversation wid anyone..its al quiet (and shortlived too..coz jz thn, sm1 constantly swarming my tho8s, shows up..and I mention
this out of not sm reason but some inevitable urge.)
All this time that I've been so dearly talking of getting some solitude for myself could make up anybody's mind thinking that I may be a person who'd like it alone. I'm myslf wondering if I were to read between the lines, wont it all strongly smell of introspection?
But I actuly like it with people around..with activity around...'coz wid all the wrk, all the frenzy around I forget my being, my senses would only respond to the work or the people and remain cheerfully busy. Evrythg's navigated then..and I am completely indulged with the work or the person of the moment,...and this is perfect..you are doing good at your workplace..people around take u to be frndly and industrious..they beam at your wits and share smiles on ur jokes..frnds get you thru their daily stuff and luv it when you tell them that they've been extremely going well with it.. u have ppl to think fondly of and who mean so mch to you and you look forward to spend time with them, talk just abt evrythg..and then of course..there's so mch that u want to accomplish in life..call them ur ambitions...wat else would you call leading a life?!!..
All the time you'r just skippng over these ropes and have got so darn perfect with it that you may overlook the score of breaths you just forgot taking inand out....!!! Look at it, isn't dat consuming enuf?...but this is how I like it..
(TBCtd....)
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
I COULD GO BACKWRDS IN TIME....
If I could find a reason to smile,
I would find a closet of laughter...
Beyond the yellow dreams,
There lies a world of butterflies,
And blue spooky monsters!
And we are stepping closer to life...
Far- far away from our dreams.
Little bottles of bubbling soda,
Left around in the corners...
And trousers stretching at the seams,
The days when I was growing stronger –
With every passing day and year.
Those were days when I could jump –
Across every last drop of tear...
And now I grow weak with my white -
Grey hair streaking across my face.
Telling me the story of bygone days...
I can sell all my shiny watches...
Can give up on the red car in the porch
Anything to light up the torch –
To feel that I can smile once again.
But then as I have known all along,
The cost of a lifetime of tears...
Is not enough to buy a moment of smiles!
The closet of laughter is just a fairytale
That I once lived inside of...
Memories – shape them as you please,
But you can’t walk backwards in time –
Not anymore... the time socks are gone!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
AS THE TIME TO LEAVE SETS UP....
Life's calling even as heart still beats
4 d plc that i'v spent those amazing four years in...
It still longs 4 d friends who got me
into living life as it were sm celebration!
M moving on as all others do...
bt wonder if winds ovr the sands of time
would sail awy the footprints frm d plcs
i walked ovr once too!!!
4 d plc that i'v spent those amazing four years in...
It still longs 4 d friends who got me
into living life as it were sm celebration!
M moving on as all others do...
bt wonder if winds ovr the sands of time
would sail awy the footprints frm d plcs
i walked ovr once too!!!
GETTING HERE....
It's been a long way...
And it's been a long time...
getting here.
Dark, desperate
torturous paths,
Stormy troubled times..
Lashed by bitter experiece
Briefly relieved by caring helping hands..
It's been a lonely fight...
getting here
But if life
had been kinder...
Would I have ever
discovered my strength,my faith?
Would I haveever searched..
sought and
found
my own echoing self...
in you?
It's been worth it,
getting here.
And it's been a long time...
getting here.
Dark, desperate
torturous paths,
Stormy troubled times..
Lashed by bitter experiece
Briefly relieved by caring helping hands..
It's been a lonely fight...
getting here
But if life
had been kinder...
Would I have ever
discovered my strength,my faith?
Would I haveever searched..
sought and
found
my own echoing self...
in you?
It's been worth it,
getting here.
Parting Ways Finally....!!!
Through this post, I reminisce the older days...days spent with friends in college, my Alma Mater...
Aye, it is painful to go through a parting.
Bidding ‘adios’ to a loved one departing.
Ah! So lamentable becomes the ‘parting’ aura
That one gets engulfed in a dismal plethora
Of thoughts originating in beautiful reminiscence
But climaxing instead in a dreary sense.
Repeated counting of passing days, counting hours at night.
Observing them moving quickly, enshrouded in dread and fright.
Every talk pregnant with sentiments – concealed and veiled.
All thoughts emulating pikes: each heart being impaled.
This is how the feelings swell, when loved ones separate.
Actuating in hearts a mutiny, rendering distrust in fate.
But doesn’t love, in separation, shed its shroud?
Shining like the Moon, shredding the veil of cloud.
Consider this, that abject sorrow and dismal gloom,
Are fertile lands, where harvest of ‘love’ does bloom.
And when hearts beat in unison, even when they be far,
Their bonds turn iron, which even time wont mar.
Aye, it is painful to go through a parting.
Bidding ‘adios’ to a loved one departing.
Ah! So lamentable becomes the ‘parting’ aura
That one gets engulfed in a dismal plethora
Of thoughts originating in beautiful reminiscence
But climaxing instead in a dreary sense.
Repeated counting of passing days, counting hours at night.
Observing them moving quickly, enshrouded in dread and fright.
Every talk pregnant with sentiments – concealed and veiled.
All thoughts emulating pikes: each heart being impaled.
This is how the feelings swell, when loved ones separate.
Actuating in hearts a mutiny, rendering distrust in fate.
But doesn’t love, in separation, shed its shroud?
Shining like the Moon, shredding the veil of cloud.
Consider this, that abject sorrow and dismal gloom,
Are fertile lands, where harvest of ‘love’ does bloom.
And when hearts beat in unison, even when they be far,
Their bonds turn iron, which even time wont mar.
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